Wings or Weight
We are all familiar with the saying, life is journey. And people often speak of this journey as peaks and valleys, right? And who would argue with wanting more peaks than valleys.
Don’t get me wrong, I am clear about the fact that without the negative, the positive isn’t as sweet. It is in the polarity that we appreciate the contrast.
But, let me offer you a thought or a visual that will allow you to create more peaks in your life than valleys. For those of you that have been on this Road to Excellence with me over the past year, you know I recently celebrated my 50th birthday. Well, that milestone definitely creates opportunities for one to do a review of their life.
I’m not one to waste time on regrets because I do believe that this is a journey. There really is no wrong step, just maybe better steps, if you will. In the process of doing this life review, I received a God whisper one day as I was driving on one of the many LA freeways. I heard a pastor say, and I’m sorry, I don’t remember who it was, he said these words, “wings or weight.”
I really didn’t hear anything else after that. It was one of those moments, like when you hear the angels saying, aaaaahhhhhh! All silliness aside, that was what it felt like. I literally pulled over and typed myself a note – Wings or Weight.
If I would have had this tool before this moment, I’m certain my life would have had a few more peaks than valleys. Again, not that I regret the valleys; they’ve made me who I am. But, now at the age of 50, I want to use the wisdom I’ve earned and make my choices moving forward based on this concept of wings or weight.
So, let’s get to that. Think about a time when you made a not so good decision. HA – I can think back to when I was at the age of I think 3, my mom will have to correct me on that, but I was very young. Anyway, we were in a store, near the checkout and I saw something that I wanted. You know how they put all those toys, candy bars, gum, etc., right as you are about to leave. Well, there I was with my sister and I just decided to take something because I wanted it. Holy wrath of my mother!! She had zero cares about completely making a fool out of me right there in the store. No, she really didn’t make a scene, it just felt like it. Her glare and gritting teeth and grip on my arm were really all I needed to translate that there was NO way I was getting whatever I had just grabbed. Let me make this clear – I was trying to steal something without knowing that was what I was doing. 47 years later, I still am very clear that that was NOT a good decision at that point. So, think for yourself, what does it feel like when you make a bad decision? Even now, I feel the heaviness of my cluelessness at that early age. It’s a heavy feeling – it’s like a weight.
Now for the converse, when I was younger, even through my college years, it was both my sister and I had the responsibility to clean my grandfather’s house. Now, I’m not saying cleaning is fun, but I do know that even today, I still cherish those moments I spent there. All the nooks and crannies, the pictures, the smell. It makes my heart happy to think about those days. How about you? What do you feel when you think about making a good life decision? Does it put a little pep in your step? It’s happy, right? A light feeling – it’s like having wings.
Maybe it seems silly to think about wings or weight, but let’s peel off a few more layers and flesh this out a bit more. Decisions are made after going through some thought process. Sometimes in-depth and other times, instantaneous decisions are made. We have the ability to not only control our thoughts but train our thoughts. And as the saying goes, when you know better, you do better.
T Harv Eker says this, “Thoughts hold rent in your head. Are they making money or are they costing you money.” Making you money would equate to wings and costing, would liken to weight. You can feel that, right?!?!
Now, this doesn’t have to apply to just money, of course. What feels better? Eating the right foods and being healthy or maybe you decide to splurge because it’s the holidays or a celebration of another kind and you not only overeat, but you indulge a bit in the spirits. Wings or weight?
Going a bit deeper, let’s get into the science of this. Health and happiness are a state of mind and they do work together. Our brains have a negativity bias right from the beginning. Our primitive brain needed it for survival. We needed it to look around every corner for predators. We needed to be cautious of the herbs and plants picked from nature. At any moment, we could become that food on the food chain or poison ourselves unintentionally.
This great brain of ours kept us safe. Yet our brain is still evolving and has not evolved past this negativity bias despite the fact that we have few predators these days. In modern times our predators are attacks on our self-esteem and imbalanced lifestyle. Stress, work, and money worries plague us and we view them as physical threats. Our bodies are flooded with chemicals and hormones that can literally kill us over time. More of our harm is perceived harm.
Awareness of this over exaggeration of stress and worry is the beginning. If the brain is wired for us to survive, we can also wire it for happiness. By working with thoughts and patterns of the mind we can choose what we feed it and create a more balanced life for ourselves.
With that said, I offer you the test – Wings or Weight? Whenever you are going to write an email to someone that upset you or wronged you, ask yourself – wings or weight? Your body has a physical reaction to the polarity of the two choices. If you choose happiness, you will choose wings and the email will not be written.
If you haven’t heard from a spouse or your child in a while, ask yourself, wings or weight? Decide to worry or not. Not worrying will give you wings. Now, I’m not saying you don’t do what is necessary to make sure someone is safe, but put your wings on and go about your business of ensuring they are okay.
When you’re on Facebook or some other blinded social media communication source, before you type those black and white letters onto that computer screen, consider – Wings or Weight?
Choosing wings more often than weight will not only create more peaks than valleys in your life, it will have a ripple effect on the entire world. Spread your wings and share your joy of life with others.
And when the weight of the world comes upon you, as it sometimes does – maybe from an illness or death of someone close, the wings that you have spread in the past will come back to you in others who surround and lift you up so the weight that you feel in that moment will only be temporarily heavy. Then you will regain your strength and be able to strap on your wings again and fly to the mountain top that we all seek.
I hope you’ve enjoyed our journey today!! The road to excellence is paved with many stories and it would make my heart sing to know that you spending time with me today has in some way, helped you see the gift that you are to this world.
Thank you for joining me today and until next time, Live Excellence.